have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
