dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
