my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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