We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
