And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
