I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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