My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
