I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
