No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
