Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
