just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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