Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the day after is always just damage control
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
