Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
