was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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