Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize