Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
