you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
