It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
