he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
