how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize