yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
