im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
