I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize