I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
