I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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