I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
