Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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