I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
