Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
