I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
