Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I die, sorry about rent.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
