You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
