did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize