somebody snuck up and got me drunk
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
