He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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