The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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