he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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