next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
