So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
