i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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