He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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