My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
