Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
