party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
