Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
