as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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