Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize