can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We are all done wearing pants today
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
