I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
