stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
