my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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