I'm pants shitting drunk right now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
