I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
did i just pee glitter
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
