I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize