whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
