So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
