smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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