So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
