The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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