she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize