Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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