i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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