Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
A bitchslap is in order.
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