Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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