Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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