The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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