If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize