just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
