yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
