Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
